Monthly Archives: May 2007

Man. Friday..

This blog was going through a bit of blogger's block. (looks smug after coming up with yet another awful two word spinoff) But we are back.

There is this innocent looking whiteboard at the Bombay office (yes, it is Bombay and will continue to remain Bombay as long as I rule this blog) which is scripted with a thought of the day everyday. Now, I am under the impression that there must be a god fearing believer in that office who, untouched by the corrupting influence of cynicism fetches this thought and scribbles it down on the board everyday. Not for long though! Enough crazies sit in bombay and they like messing with the order of things.

John in Bombay recently sent me the before and after of one such thought of the day. I can only ask you, dear readers, all 23 (on last dekko) of you to click. For it is little things like this that inspire the big, no holds barred things. Like makkadman for instance. See, we gotta be a little crazy. It helps us focus. To come up with things like, well, Makkadman. My, don't I shine at logic.

The Maratha Board

Die Monday Die

We hate it. Like, enough to want to conjure up the ultimate weapon and murder the day out of the fifth dimension. Blast it out of universal conciousness. Annihilate it.

In the meantime, we cope.

Monday Bloody Monday

Sleeping off the monday curse

P.S: found this on a parody site. Bless those.
I”ve got tears in my eyes
I”ve got tears today
And, why”s there tears today?
Since, it”s an awful day
(Monday, bloody Monday)
Oh, I just want to cry
(Monday, bloody Monday)

U2 ought to pay attention. Sunday”s fine. Curses be upon Monday.

To Spiderman: Pardon Our Hindi

Webchutney has never shied away from its sworn duty to always meddle its nose where it does not belong and shamelessly spoof everything that is funny enough to be turned into hilarious.
Presenting Makkadman, our latest in the let's make fun of whatever we feel like series:)

Makkadman aala re..

Got metal. Got drunk.

You know all that ubiquitous music where the singer/band demands that the listeners just get down and party with whatever getting down means left to the imagination of the those being asked to get down? Yes, of course you do. Silly me.

Another popular digression of the same involves repeated rocking of one's body which I presume must be an essential part of partying universally. Backstreet boys, Vengaboys and countless other insert (mind expanding first name) boys have, over the years, appealed to us to shake our collective booties inspite of our better nature. Now why is this discourse on the culture of party inducing music being dished out on the blog of this particular sweatshop?

Because we, the people, of the still standing agency, went ahead and had a party which would have made every one of the above mentioned bands proud. Yessir, proud indeed. Occasion was all that recently acquired metal I have already waxed eloquent about. And that this agency is an incurable party whore which hadn't been getting any lately. So, friday evening saw us in a typical dim dungeon like joint working those joints which just sit and stare at the monitor in their other life. I think (just about) everyone danced, a lot, even to Himesh's twanging till those manning the joint asked us to get the hell out. Most of us, in tradition, embraced the happy drink till we were sufficiently happy and then there was cake and food and the first ever webchutney awards. Ah yes, that's another one. Rahul explained that in the absence of jaw dropping increments, plastic chillies were being distributed as appreciation of good work. The green chilly was for individual excellence while the red one for the team which fights the most but makes the deadline anyway! Certificates also pronounced the Order of the Hottest Cubicle upon those graced with the chillies.

The appreciation would hereby be conferred every quarter, Rahul said. I think I need to inform here that Rahul is the erstwhile VP of WC and the new COO of WC. And he will comment on this post and explain to the acronym challenged what all those acronyms mean. Ha!

Pictures on Flickr. I thought I'd put one here as a teaser. See, I'm aware you have all been to mad parties in your day but this one happened outside the realm of the dance tile (not floor) of Beach Bar so I have all right to endlessly ramble about it. You can also see the party post on the boss's blog aptly titled Smashed Monkey Boys. He missed the girls who were probably not so smashed.

I don't remember though.

P.S: Man, the bosses were so wasted!

Naach Gaana!

Webchutney Light Fight™

Greetings, Earthlings. You are being addressed by the Vulturo, Prince Of Darkness, an unimaginably evil being, who is known to masquerade as Saket Vaidya, the Social Media Analyst at Webchutney. And today, he shall share with you, an excellent game which you can play to sharpen your grey cells, and among other things, waste your time.
Webchutney has always been a company full of smokers, and of that, we are quite proud. The Mumbai Office, until very recently, was a free-smoking zone. The healthy cigarette consumption ensured that at least a 100 odd ITC employees were assured of their daily bread and butter through the fauj's benevolence, alone.

There is an unwritten law which states that the availability of matches is inversely proportional to the quantum of cigarettes being smoked, and at times, it leads to chronic matchstick shortages. Often, when one fauji asked another for a light, he got a response “Yaar light ki fight hai” (Fight hai, is standard chutney lingo, by the way).

And then the inevitable happened. Like all good things, happy times for smokers at Chutneyplex Mumbai came to an end, when the powers that be declared “Thou shalt not smoke anywhere, but in the Kitchen”. Cigarette consumption reduced, and due to the aforementioned law, the fauj was forced to deal with a matchstick surplus.

Then came along Anirban Biswas, the SEM superstar at Chutney, who invented an extremely invigorating game called Webchutney Light Fight™ which achieved the twin objectives of productively utilising the matchstick surplus, and sharpening one's intellect.

The Webchutney Light Fight

The game, which is meant to be played against each other by two people, goes thusly: You take fifteen matchsticks. You arrange them in three rows: The first, second and third rows containing three, five, and seven matchsticks respectively.

Subsequent to which, your opponent is invited to pick up one or more matchsticks, with the condition that all the matchsticks which are picked up must belong to one row (e.g. one may choose to pick four matchsticks from row three, or just one match stick from row one, or even all the matchsticks from row two. Or anything else for that matter, you get the drift)

After your opponent is done and it is your turn, you pick any number of matchsticks provided they are all from the same row. That done, your opponent is again invited to play his turn and and the game continues indefinitely in this fashion, the person who picks up the last remaining matchstick being the loser.

In order to win the game, you must pick up your matchsticks in such a way that you leave the last matchstick on the board for your opponent (e.g. The game has proceeded to a stage where there is a single matchstick on row one, and three matchsticks on row two. You pick up all the three matches on row two and leave your opponent stranded with the solitary matchstick on row one)

A game of Light Fight in progress

The Mumbai faujis deeply engrossed in a game of Webchutney Light Fight™

Anirban Biswas and Vikram Gahlot have devoted considerable research to this game and have developed a secret algorithm which helps them apply superior strategies to ensure that they never lose against lesser opponents, no matter if they play first or second. If you feel that you have it in you to beat them, please feel free to throw in the gauntlet.

The team at Mumbai is, in fact, contemplating requesting the powers that be, to make sure that all future faujis have to prove their skills at WCLF as a mandatory part of the interview process.

So, if you plan to seek a job at Webchutney anytime soon, start practising. Here's to happy playing!

Firedancing Lady

She was doing this juggling with fire thing at Goafest. I can explain better but that would be my own non drooling opinion. Hence, this salivating male version of it:) That’s why you can’t make out much either.

Oh, there were four of these.

I’m not even going to bother giving this a title