Today I’d like to talk about a few good things which come for free with the agency business. Of course a lot of this stuff comes free with other businesses too but this is our story, all right! Plus excuse me while I throw some bad attitude and say that what do others know about exploiting the web like we do. High five with the next cubicle dweller. The internet (yes, we do get a bit too much of that actually), Youtube, Orkut, Facebook, Santabanta ( I tell you those jokes are popular for some reason!), odd news of the world, illegal music download among downloading of that shall not be named and spam. Yes spam. I say if you can’t fight them, join them. There’s no escaping spam around here. You start the morning email deluge and an astonishing amount of it is spam and while attempting to get rid of it over the years, I have now started to pay attention to it. Oh quit wrinkling the nose and giving me the WTF look. Let me explain, let me explain. Spam is probably one of the funniest and persistent content content streams in the universe. And yet the spammers carry on holding the bright torch of creativity and wordplay and visual imagery! The stuff being pedaled is the same really. The blue pill for the boys, the replica watches for the cheapskates, the happy websites for the boys mostly and those wierd one line friendship requests which sound like martians write them in the absence of any love back home. Oh and lots of pirated software for cheap too. And the creativity dude. The wordplay. The mind boggling analogies. The poetic smut invitations. For the non believers, here’s some proof.
Now as I write this I shall have to be discreet here because, well I’ll be fired if I copy paste and then who will bring you the joys of the agency business?? No no, I couldnt do that to you. Never! So please to have a look at this abridged gems.
- “Have more fun with our manpower candies” Whoa.
- “She will love you more than anyother guy.” You go dog! Precise eh?
- “My girl loves the new me.” See, soul of brevity, these wonderful people.
- “Hello! I am bored today. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at f@OnsetIng.info only, because I am writing not from my personal email. I want to show you some pictures.” Chat AND pics?!?! Thank you sweet god.
- “Photoshop! Acrobat! Dreamweaver! Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!” Ha..like we don’t have our own pirated copies. Bugger off.
- “Our specially designed replics look exactly like their highly expensive brand prototypes. Sometimes even the professional aren’t able to tell the difference from the real one! Buy now!” You betcha my friend, after all anything for my carefully nurtured fake vanity.
- “This is a limited time offer, 15% off in our luxury watches:
Rolex, Omega, Breguet, Breitling, Bvlgari, and many others.
The price is affordable, but no one needs to know.”
Of course, of course, except the ten thousand other people you spammed. Rock on.
- “Ever felt like you don’t measure up? Then click now.” Nice touch. Hit it where it hurts.
You might not admit it now but spam has its own charm. Go read some and come back here and tell us some more of this good stuff. Bet I could change your mind. After all, you don’t want to be an average guy any longer! Yep, that’s the most common title of the world’s favorite spam.