The Webchutney Blog

Things I have heard over the years in this agency and that will not make much sense to those outside the system are many. It’s sort of an initiation among other things that initiate you at work. You join, you are made fun of, you are made to overwork, you fight at lunch (another story!) you hear peculiar things and all is well. Pretty soon you are saying them too and not just in office. My mother has looked at me in the strangest way. No doubt, wondering if irreparable damage has been done. So here’s presenting the must speak yet meaningless drivel that comes with working here.

Top of the list is Bhains ki eyes. If this blog has any international readers (hahahahaha), it means Buffalo’s eyes. And no, I don’t know what it means. It is used to express anger, disgust, frustration, joy, surprise among other emotions. It does and serves us so well that we even used it in a viral which became very popular. In arre baba chalis chor, the chief thief expresses frustration at not being allowed in the cave through these three magical words. So whenever under stress, say Bhains ki eyes and feel better!

Kat Le. Translates into bugger off. Said with an air of supreme unconcern. This might not be original but you shall be asked to kat le so often, every hour that you shall come to hear the words by instinct.

Mar Jaa. Translates into die. Or drop dead. Yes, it means die. Mostly you hear that when you bug someone a lot over a deadline or are an eyesore. See, don’t get offended. It’s not that actual demise of a person is desired. It’s just that if you bug someone in an already stressed environment, it’s just fair that you are asked to drop dead. No real offense meant.

Kaash tere bache gore paida ho. Means may your kids be born white. Mostly said to dark colleagues or those who are darker than others. Haha. And no, it’s not racial discrimination. It’s an expression of gratitude when the darker colleague gets a good lunch or feeds the always hungry of WC in the time of dire need. Which is between 5-7 in the evening, mostly.

Uparwale se pooch. Ask the bloke upstairs. Now this is giving away one of those things we don’t say around the boss, but oh well. Our bosses mostly seat themselves on a floor above us. At times of decision taking, we refer to the uparwala. It’s fun to point a finger to the ceiling, mutter this phrase and walk off.

The patience limit per post has been breached already I think. So more on the sayings of the wise men and women in the next post. As usual, stay tuned!