The Webchutney Blog

I was more than shocked when I was handed over return tickets to Mumbai.

“I am going to report the biggest, meanest, wildest party ever with weingardium levioussa’ly drunk untamed party animals!” *Wipes tears and boards the flight*. Cut to the party.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeee! Thankyou mom for bringing me to this world so I could be present at such a party. I love you. Here it goes.

Mesdames et Messieurs, welcome to the Webchutney Carnival being held in Hawaiian Shack, Mumbai. Hawaiian Shack, the venue is very cool. And when I say it’s cool, i mean super duper cool. There are living coconut trees on the terrace and shacks tied around so you could have vodka with coconut water. I so wish I had my pink  lungi. OMG! I see something very sparkling. Who is that? Oh!  You can see below that Jonathan got himself a new pair of bling glasses, which finally succeeded and made Sudesh and Sidharth smile. And what is that? How cute? Oh these sweet nothings!

What romantic eyes you have Jonathan? Also carefully watch Sanju a.k.a Admin far left. Sidharth has almost choked him to death. Probably he’d be thanked next.

Happy, yes?

You know, these guys paid up to get clicked with Rahul. How happy they are. Women are always going crazy, "Rahul, can I please get a picture with you?

Saket, where is your glass of drink dude?

Saket: *does a complete bottle of beer in a sip* I don’t drink….from a glass.

I am liking his witty sense of humour I tell you

Looks funny how they have their left hands on the person to their right... left shoulders.

It’s getting really hot in here as Rianna, Girjia and horny guy pose naturally for a killer picture. If you observe closely you can also find Cheryl dancing. Look closely, between Riana’s fingers? Yes. That is Cheryl; she has joined as a copywriter 3 weeks back. She is dancing like Madonna. The horns, horny guy bought from linking road, may only be Rs.80 but they’ve surely added four moons to the party.

Funny , no? But I totally adore those horns.

Meghana (far left) and Nishi Kant (far right) look very calm as the guy below tries to break the glass. OMFG!

Nishi what are we?

“Number ****ing one!”

With that I’ll leave him alone, I guess he is too many drinks down.

You heard about Breaking Benjamin? That chap loves alternative rock

And drinks , let me go to the bar and  wet  my sore throat. No Sidharth no , please.

Sidharth as you can see, was eyeing my drink for long ( although he had his glass in his hand ), but there is nothing I can do. He is the host tonight.

Let me try the chicken wings and vodka in coconut water. GULP GULP! This is cool.

A drink in hand is better than, a bottle on the table. * smirk*

And ofcourse the party is going wild. I have decided to take on the dance floor now and do my thing. It has been 6 hours and Meghana is still dancing, I just do not know what to blame. Is it the holy water (coconut with Russian water : D ) or the fact that Webchutney is the number one digital agency, or both? You can tell us what you think by logging onto the website www.madrigras-ki-ma-chod-di.com or you can SMS your views on “this number does not exist”. Too bad you missed all the fun. You can enjoy this big huge group photograph though. Ignore the four guys circled below, they are not mocking you. They insisted that we don’t tell you that they were chewing kheenieee. Chaaeen say mazzaaa ley liya?

One thing, Tarana Mehta, the AVP for Client Services at Mumbai was in New York and missed the party. Meghana, Nishi , Sidharth, Sudesh and everyone else missed her presence. I know, you can “awwwwwwwwwww” right about now.

Some are blocking the others but hey , they are pardoned! For all your sins, come undone when drinketh holy water.

Excuse me? Could you pass me some beer?

She said, “We haven’t had this feeling here since, well, last year when some WEBCHUTNEY guys had come. Gosh they were as mad as you guys!”

Bitch shut the **** up! It is Webchutney again! Just gimme my beer!

Ram Singh doing his thing. Bottoms up baby \m/

The carnival is ongoing and the parties are all over Webchutney, be it Delhi , Mumbai or Bangalore. There is a party planned on Saturday in Webchutney, Delhi at Turquoise Cottage. I want to break my bottle of beer on all the heads which have to say, “It doesn’t get better than this!”

Hell yeah it does??? This Saturday. Asta la vista. * breaks bottles* . Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh \m/

Reporting live from the Webchutney Carnival, I can’t describe in words what is happening around me. There are red, white, blue, green, orange, pink, purple balloons all over the tables, doors, walls, floor and ceiling; everywhere.  The employees have found a ‘thank you note’ along with the copy of Economic Times and seem quite shocked. OMFG! Some of them are, what? Crying, yes crying after reading the oh-so! emotional note from the management (a.k.a. Sidharth, Sudesh and Rahul), rest of the janta is all smiles and roaming around with their head held high!!

This is how the trio reacted after reading the Economic Times.

Folks @ Mumbai are in a frenzy. Girija is still yippy-yaing “we won , we won”! HELL YEAH!!!

Girija is still awe struck! Ambulance is on its way.

This is a killer thumbs up I say. Cheryl is totally ecstatic at the moment.

Who is that? Baba Ramdev? He seems very excited. This is one of those rare occasions at the agency where Creative and CS reach exalted levels of emotion and walk hand-in-hand singing “It’s a Beautiful Life, It’s a beautiful World!!” (great song by Gui Boratto by the way!)

Its a bird , its a plane. No Baba Ramdev is on the TV and not internet? We are spared.

The employees are thrilled with their name on the envelopes and are opening it with gleaming eyes.
Bhupesh : “Its beautiful.” (He specifically asked me not to mention that he had tears in his eyes. I am certainly not going to do that)

Close- up shot at the 'Thankyou note'!

This chap(Shree) has been smiling since morning when  he laid eyes on his desk! If you ever happen to drop by our office, remind me to show you ‘other’ pictures of him, and you’ll know what I mean.

Shree is happy. Period.

There are so many people, moods and so many comments, oh! Sweet! The Webchutney carnival has just begun. A little snapshot, that captures most of the feelings of day one surely packs a punch. I am Anukul, reporting live from the inaugaral grounds  of Webchutney carnival. Again. Oh My F***ING GAWD!!! Join in the celebrations anytime!!

Moments. More action to Follow. Watch this space VERY closely.

Webchutney just did it again – second frigging time in a row!  Oh yeah, Webchutney is the Leading (read No 1) Digital Agency in India as per Ad Agency Reckoner 2009 – a study released every year by Brand Equity & The Economic Times.

They put us under ‘techtonics’ and gave us nice monikers like ‘Lords of the Digital Space’. Thank you, it’s true we are kinda lordy! Credits go out to the work & our super cool clients who trusted us with their brands – Marico, Titan Group, Tata Tea, Airtel, HP, Microsoft, Virgin Mobile, P & G, Uninor and they just keep coming.  

So how did we do it?

The Official Brand Equity Version:  Best digital agency in terms of creative & strategic solutions, knowledge of and investment in most effective technologies, quality & talent of people to address brand problems using technology, give solutions across digital spectrum and provide higher return on digital media investment

Well we couldn’t agree more

No more talk. Let the accolades speak for themselves

Such a beautiful game it is. Isn’t it? We at Webchutney adore football or soccer, s’il vous plait. If you think we have adopted recently because of some young lads that we have recruited lately or perhaps in order to get some exercise for our “all day drinking beer, eating, growing obese staff” you are, well, wrong. Football has been in our genes.

So last Wednesday, our entire staff (except the lassies ), went out to play. Two teams fought a timed battle for the ultimate glory.

You get kicked for sure.

Sattvik Mishra obviously being the highlight (check him out below, if you don’t believe the person writing this blog). Only if Sir Alex Ferguson had been watching, Sattvik would have replaced Wayne Rooney for sure!

The Future of EPL!

Utter chaos followed the kick-off. The ball was not the only thing flying in the air. There were shoes, chappals, and even designer spectacles which had been cautiously glued to Rishi’s nose. Alas!

*Tele tubbies theme music plays*

Three points.

Then ofcourse you know this one. Isn’t this one of the times when someone calls your bluff?

Dude pass the f******  ball around!

I was doing just that!

Yeah right!?

You know what Rud Van Nistelrooy is infamous for?

We also got introduced to Sattvik’s metro side.

Chumma- chaatti!

And we extended our support to the gay community.

Two to tango.

Finally , with so much drama on the field , one team won. This is what I like best about this game. Unlike cricket, nothing can stop the outcome of the game. One team always wins. Let it rain or let there be a thunderstorm.

If you carefully notice the second person from the left, he is still under shock that his team won! Rest seem quite elated. Also a little boy posing like the spartan king was found loitering around everytime there was a picture being taken. We removed all the other photos. But just to appreciate his efforts, we thought, we’d keep one. You go boy. Move. You are getting on my nerves now. Off you go.

Okay no chocolates for you to guess the song playin! shhhhh its by QUEEN!

Now that we have recruited more ‘playas’ a.k.a Yours Truly, am sure the Webchutney Football Club will be ‘going’ places soon.  Ok tata.

Ok, so delhi office got new interiors, at least partly courtesy Sudesh and some help from Gautam Joshi…
Check this out!

When folks at Webchtney feel particularly bored in the afternoon, they decide to have fun with puppets.

Here’s introducing Maratha’s resident spooky puppet, who is yet to be named. Roughly appearing to be some sort of a cross between a swan and a serpent, there seriously is something eerie about the way it walks.

The little fella, under the able guidance of the Creative Director, managed to spook the shit out of our otherwise gung-ho receptionist. And yours truly was able to use it to satisfactorily freak out a female member of the Client Servicing department.

Women will get scared of anything. And its fun.

When you live in a billion-strong nation, that, sanitation is going to be a problem is a no-brainer. Quite possibly, we even have a Ministry for Health and Sanitation. Or, if we don’t I assure you that its in the making.

They say part symbolizes whole, and whole symbolizes part. This couldn’t be more true in the case of Webchutney, your friendly neighborhood Number 1 Digital Agency. For we too face the sanitation problem. Well, at least the male junta here (And if you are one of the sorts who needs to pee too often, you may bear that in mind in case you are thinking of joining us).

To elaborate, there are a grand total of 3 restrooms at the Webchutney offices in Mumbai:

1. 5th floor, Clean but women only (at least until 9 p.m.)
2. 2nd floor, Clean, unisex.
3. 4.5th floor, Dirty, stinky and reserved for male use.

Now, given that all the cool population on the 5th floor is over 90% male, the dirty, stinky restroom between the 4th and 5th floors is always in high demand. For example, I could wager that its occupied right now as you are reading this. We just love it too much.

So what happens when some brave lad from Technology or Creative wishes to opt for instant weight loss and finds that paradise is occupied? There are, of course, two choices:

1. Wait a while, and come back
2. Gun for the unisex loo on the 2nd floor, and hope that its empty

This, of course, is a moment of indecision. Urgency and nature of weight loss desired are both important factors. And you never know how much time the bloke who got there before you is going to take to evacuate. Knocking of course, is impolite. You don’t want to interrupt your colleague’s hard fought moment of nirvana.

This issue has already caused enough heart burn, not to mention reduced work efficiency.

Enter Nishi Kant, our Creative Messiah. Like the rest of us, Nishi too hates moments of indecision. And while nothing can still be done about the dirt and the stinkiness, (yes, we have one of those ‘maintenance chart’ thingies inside but its largely for decorative purposes) Nishi did come up with a creative solution for tackling indecision:

The Illuminated Restroom Occupancy Notifier

The IRON is a simple device which consists of three light bulbs, red, yellow and green on the outside of the john, with matching switches on the inside. The method of operation is simple: after you are in the can, switch on the red or yellow lights depending on the nature of your business; red for long ones, yellow for short. While exiting, always switch to the green light.

Thus, your colleagues can know from afar what to expect, without the effort of actually having to climb down the stairs and push against the door. The IRON is a beacon of hope and the information it transmits is very valuable when it comes to making the choice.

As a matter of fact, information is valuable when making any choice. Heck, this is an information economy. And Nishi is at the forefront.

All hail the messiah!

Look on the branch head’s face when you’re helping the company fight darkness : PRICELESS!

Last quarter, we commissioned JuxtConsult to conduct a study of the largest advertisers in India (about 500 in number) to understand their digital priorities.
Here are the findings:

WebChutney Digital Media Outlook Report 2009

On 17th of June, we got blighted. Apparently, a worm on one of our office machines managed to append an iframe calling a malicious site to the index page of webchutney.com. These buggers lie in wait for an outbound FTP connection and make their move the moment they get their chance. Damn those virus writers!

Google classified us as a ’site which may harm your computer’, which had us notice the issue and fix it the very same day. The offending iframe was removed from the page, there was an anti-virus marathon, FTP passwords were changed and all Windows machines were denied outbound FTP access for good measure. As of now developers are required to use a VNC connection to a Linux machines for all uploading needs.

Since then, webchutney.com has been very much malware free. Out of paranoia, we’ve been verifying it everyday, and there’s no sign of any fresh infection. A simple view-source on our pages should quickly demonstrate that.

What’s perplexing though is that Google still continues to classify our site as malware. Any number of ‘reviews’ have been requested from both Google’s Webmaster Tools and StopBadware (the company originally supplying the knowhow for this) but to no avail, till now. As irrational it might seem, we even took the extreme step of taking old the website down, in favor of a fresh spanking one which is currently being built. One hopes that the site content changing radically should have some effect. If not, I guess the only solution is to change our website URI.

Google’s dominance over the search engine business means that you get completely screwed over if you get into their bad books. And its quite exasperating to be wrongfully reported by them as a malware facilitator, for ten days and counting. Given that the SafeBrowsing API is now built into modern browsers like Safari and Firefox, this not only screws Seach Engine traffic, even direct visitors get the wrong ideas.

Heck, even the diagnostic page for webchutney.com mentions that malware was found the last time on the 17th, while Google seems to have visited the site many times after that. One expects the search engine overlords to act faster and behave more logically, given the fact that false positives can ruin reputations.

For our part, we can assure you that there’s no malware on any of our websites, and we shall continue to take actions to ensure that it remains so. Search Engine Experts, do chime in with comments with how this problem can be dealt with.

After wishing the problem away for many days, a post simply had to be made. All in all, this is one lesson well learnt. Meanwhile, do look forward to the new webchutney.com. Its gonna be a lot nicer.

Update (June 30, 2009):

• The malware warning has gone (Finally!). Thank you, Google for having mercy.
• The new webchutney.com website has been up since a couple of days. Do check it out if you haven’t already.